All the current bullshit about National Insurance increases and the talk about where cuts will be made in government spending brought back memories of writing text messages back in the day. After going over the one text limit and faced with the gloom of having to pay for two text messages i would spend the next 30 minutes finding letters to cut out and words to shorten to cut down the text message into one text message.
With the main parties having consensus on all important issues like foreign policy and nuclear weapons (where most of the money goes) and even global warming (for the tree huggers) or banking and state bailouts and electorate reform. (for those actually interested in democracy) None of these topics are going to be discussed in the enlightening debates that await us. Instead as the parties all try to suck up to potential voters with free pens and lollipops in the only topic they have slight disagreements on i.e. the economy, the result being pretty much the same. If they give you a few pennies here they'll add on a few pounds over there, whether its National Insurance, VAT or increase in fuel prices. We'll be treated to popularity contests and asked to choose the lesser of all the idiots while the parties spend millions on pointless election campaigns while funded by people who don't pay taxes.
Then there's the Liberal Democrats who are not anti war anymore and whose name i read in a leaflet posted through the front door today with Vince Cables name endorsing them and surprisingly not the actual leader Whatshisname Clegg. The Liberal Democrats remind me of an ugly gold digger being chased by 2 poor old men.
Muslims will probably be praying for a Labour victory, what with Labour being a cash cow for us highlighted by a recent article in the Daily Telegraph of Labour giving us £140m a year. The saying that must come into mind for the minority of Muslims involved in the kind of projects the government likes to engage in within the Muslim community as they continuously meddle and preach their version of Islam to Muslims is probably the one not to look a gift horse in the mouth regardless of their foreign or even domestic policies. If you're going to vote, vote for the Respect party who might not be able to give you £1500 for a talk on prophetic medicine but who are anti war and anti trident and anti bankers.
There's a few possible outcomes in the election with pointed reference to other recent elections around the world.
1) The Conservative party win but the whole of Europe ignores it and refuse to deal with them in any way or even recognise them and instead only talk with Jack Straw, the new Labour leader.
2) The Labour party win by 2 seats and an angry Davind Cameron goes to the streets with his EDL mob, Gordon Brown sending out his UAF to confront them.
3. David Cameron wins the election and then dies when waving to the crowd in his baby Bentley and hitting his head against the sunroof. Sam Cameron takes over.
4) Liberal Democrats win but decide to send even more troops into Afghanistan.